September 27, 2020

When I have a lot on my mind, I blog…

I woke up this morning and had to tell myself, “I am a daughter of the King, fix your crown.” I am worth far more than rubies. I just want to encourage my daughters, sisters, sons, friends, and brothers, this too shall pass. This season in your life, will pass. There are seasons of life that come and go. You’re not always going to be in a season of winning. It’s important to recognize what season of life you are in. Individuals have seasons. Marriages have seasons. Friendships have seasons. Relationships have seasons. Finances have seasons. Careers have seasons. There is a season of birth, re-birth, and death. Ecclesiastes 3, mentions there is a time for everything; beginnings and endings. In Genesis 8:22, there is time for preparation. A time for seedtime and harvest, summer and winter.

The Law of God is this: What you Sow, you will Reap. #FACTS

1. Preparation. During the time of preparation you will not see fruits because it’s underneath the surface. Our culture only mentions producing, in other words, prosperity or winning.
2. Producing. During the time of producing you should celebrate when you’re in a good season. The enemy never wants you to embrace the season you’re in. Rejoice with those who are happy!
3. Pruning. During the time of pruning, allow God to prune relationships out of your life. God will cut some of those things out of your life, just like pruning a rose bush. Its not easy and can be painful. He’s shaking things up and OUT, its a violent shaking, and often times can be felt throughout all your senses. This is God putting us in a place to grow to another level. Being pruned, may be very uncomfortable, but its also productive. Sometimes, you don’t understand and can’t see, nor understand how or when you will see the production. Just know, God will never prune without your permission. He does not go against our will. Think about the potter in Jeremiah that jumps off the wheel.
4. Perishing. Perishing is abnormal for us. We think it shouldn’t happen. We freeze. We question God. We doubt God. Friends, death is apart of the cycle, its apart of the life cycle of things that will happen. People die. Marriages end. Friendships end. Businesses end. Careers end. But, I want to encourage you and tell you, weeping endures for a moment. (As I blog, I’m rejoicing because God’s word is LIVING & ACTIVE, and– so, so good!)

My Season of Pruning & Perishing

I am embracing this season in my life and not running from it. We should be more concerned with what God thinks of us, than what others think of us. I am in a season of life, where I need to focus on what God thinks of me and how he sees me, not what others see, say, or think about my marriage ending. I don’t need man’s approval. If you’re focused on what Chana is doing or how someone else is living, your focus is in the wrong place. I encourage you to use this time to re-focus on your relationship with Christ. We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. None of us are worth His forgiveness, but thank God for the blood of Jesus, right!

I hear what they’re saying on the streets and during family gatherings. But know, there are always 3 sides to the story. His truth. Her truth. The truth. Yes, I left my husband. Yes, I walked away. Yes, I committed adultery (still legally married). Yes, I sold my house. Yes, I ended friendships. Yes, I am angry. Yes, I drink alcohol. Yes, I listen to worldly music. Yes, I have friends who are not believers. Yes, I do yoga. Yes, I snapped. Yes, I am angry. Yes, I’m in grief. Yes, I hurt. But, what have you done?

Many people are looking in from the outside and don’t have knowledge of what happened in my life. You’re only able to see the external snippets of my life via Facebook/IG, all of which I chose to share. Not for one instance, did I make my decision lightly. I mulled and cried over my decisions. It’s one of the most difficult events I have endured, thus far and incredibly painful. The decision to leave was not an overnight thought. I was struggling for a couple of years. I prayed to God often, asking him to move and change my marriage. I tried everything, trust me. For so many years, I put my families needs above mine. I worked very hard at being a nurturer, provider, advocate, opened my heart and home to others, served, and encouraged my husband to be the BEST. I tried to be that Proverbs 31 woman in the midst of it all. Side note: I want to share with those who do not understand how Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) impact individuals later in life. Exposure to reoccurring traumatic events does have an impact neurologically, including the severity and frequency of events and the decisions individuals make. Some of you know my “story,” and others have only heard glimpses. I was attached through a wound and this is called trauma bond. Instead of judging, ask–what happened. As you mature, you grow in knowledge. I knew as a woman of faith that I did not have to continue to put up with certain events or behaviors simply because of my faith in God. That is absurd!

Sisters, You do not Have to be a Martyr for your Family.

As I reflect at this point in my life, I feel the sacrifices for my family were in vain. I sacrificed my own peace of mind and happiness for someone else’s happiness. Who said, I had to be a martyr for the sake of having “an intact family?” The societal pressures put on women are simply unfair. I don’t owe anyone, anything– anymore. I am tired and NOT confused. I did better than my parents, and I can only hope, my children will do better than I, with their children. They say it is supposed to get better each generation, right? The Word of God says, He will keep his promises from generation to generation. And I put my trust in the WORD of God, that even in my imperfect parenting or the decision to leave last year, that God will keep and sustain my children. I’m sick of people thinking they know what is best for me and judging why I left. Just know I left. I don’t have to answer to anyone, but GOD. But, GOD! Besides, you wouldn’t want to wear these shoes.

Learn to Know who God is and how He Sees you

God sees me as redeemed, and I was predestined as his child. He exchanged my sin for his righteousness. I may not be where others think I should be, and this is okay. Just know the good he started in me, will continue into completion. I was called at the age of 8 years old to serve Christ through my paternal grandmother. No man or no one can tell me differently or take that away from me! Friends, you are loved and valued by God. The enemy is defeated. No matter how far you’ve fallen, God is not far. He never leaves us. Don’t believe Satan’s lies. Satan will use God’s very own people to tear you down, condemn you, wear you out, and tell you that you’re worthless, and not saved. Remember, Satan is the father of lies. Get to know the voice of God. He never condemn us.

No One Can Take your Faith Away

Yes, I have my faith. Yes, God has me. Yes, I love God. Yes, I’m thriving. Yes, I’m healing. Yes, I’m pushing through. Yes, I’m moving forward towards the prize. Yes, I’m forgiven. Yes, I forgive him. Yes, I forgive her. Yes, I forgive them.

Reflect on Your season of Life.

What season of life are you in? What season of life is coming to an end? What does God want to end? How do you embrace these seasons? What is God teaching you? Do you embrace it through unhealthy coping mechanisms or do you seek God, focus on growing, and being your best version yet?

God is Good All the Time

Just know, God is good all the time, no matter what season of life we are in. He’s kept you this far. He will keep you in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Christ because your trust is in Him.

Like Whitney Houston sang, Exhale…Shoop, shoop, shoop, doop…Smile 😊 and be thankful. As, I’m writing this blog, I have to sign off because work is calling and there are fires in Napa.

In His Grip,

Daughter of a King, Chana

Author’s note: This has not been edited. Also, want to share this blog is in no way to put another person down. I believe in Christ’s redeeming power and hold no grudges or unforgiveness towards anyone. I also need to emphasize, just because individuals have strongholds, does not mean their walk is inauthentic, it just means they haven’t surrendered that area of their life to Christ.